I promised myself that I would blog at least once a week, but this past week has been pretty hectic with midterms and work, so this post is coming a tad late. Better late than never, right? A dear reader dropped a topic in my suggestion box, and to say that I’m excited to speak on this matter is an understatement.
The reader, anonymously of course, wrote me stating “I have a boyfriend who is shorter than me and I tend not to wear heels when I’m with him…. which sucks because I love heels. But I don’t want him or myself to feel uncomfortable. Can you share your thoughts/ experience on this matter?”
First things first, for those of you who may or may not know me, I’m tall (6’1 to be exact). “Despite my height”, I love my heels- 75% of the time I’m wearing a shoe that has some type of heel! Now, you may be wondering why I put despite my height in quotes. Here’s my reason: I genuinely believe society places stipulations on tall women wearing heels, stipulations that I love breaking.
With that being said, I know that my confidence, love, and appreciation for my height took a long time to build up. So to the young woman who left this suggestion, or anybody struggling with their height, I want you to know that you’re not alone. I grew up hating being tall. I hated all eyes on me. I hated the constant questions from strangers (Questions I have to awkwardly smile through in order not to scream out of frustration from redundancy). I was so insecure in myself that I avoided heels. I wanted to shrink. I didn’t like making guys feel insecure. I even used to do this awkward pose where I would pop one of my knees out to the front so that I shrank by a couple of inches. It had gotten so bad that I wore sandals to both of my proms in high school so that I would not be taller than my dates. The defining moment though, was my sister forcing me to wear these 6-inch heels to my high school graduation. Simply put, I was terrified. One, because I could barely walk in these heels. Two, because I was afraid of towering over all of my classmates. I walked into graduation wishing I could hide. To my amazement, I walked across the stage, with grace, and owned my height. I’m 22 years old now, and all of the things I’ve stated above have shaped me to the confident tall person I am today.
My advice to my fellow tall women is to never dim your light for someone else. If you’re confident and comfortable with your height, then so will he. I took this to twitter and did a poll where I asked women would they date a man shorter than them and I asked men would they date a woman taller than them. The results showed that more men were open to dating someone taller than them, but more women said they would not date someone shorter than them. I understand the results. As a taller woman, heck as a woman in general, we want someone taller than us. Someone who we feel can protect us, hold us, and make us feel secure. Unfortunately, we have the notion that in order for that to be the case, he should be taller and bigger than us. As for men, they may see taller women as a challenge, at least those are the pickup lines constantly thrown at me (don’t get me started on that one). Men love women, all shapes and sizes, and a taller woman will not intimidate a man. Key word: MAN. I’ve come into contact with many guys who have told me I shouldn’t wear heels because I’m tall enough. I’ve come into contact with guys who say I’m so beautiful but they like a challenge and my height doesn’t bother them.
Long story short, your man should love the fact he’s with a tall Amazonian woman and if a few inches makes him insecure or emasculates him, tell him and his pride to hit the door. It takes a special person to be able to walk into a room, and at once captivate the attention of everyone occupying it. That is a skill many wish they had, and tall women have it naturally. I own any room I walk into, and once you believe that about yourself, everyone else will, too. Your confidence will radiate off of you and give off a presence. Once, you love your height, so will your man. But, never let anyone else’s love for your height effect the love YOU have for your height. There will still be ignorant people and comments, but my darling, your height is beautiful and makes you unique. So to all my tall women out there, Stand Tall and never belittle yourself for anyone, especially a guy!